Brain Shuffle, 8/17/08

-- It's awfully nice and everything for Barack Obama to allow Hillary Clinton's name to be in official contention at the Democratic primary, which is something candidates just don't do anymore, but I can't help but suspect it's yet another Clinton trick.

-- Congress is considering a ban on menthol cigarettes because critics claim they're targetted at blacks. They should ban menthols because the mix of minty menthol and earthy tobacco is about as appealing as chocolate-frosted mud.

-- Meanwhile, Special Olympics and other organizations for the intellectually disabled are upset with the makers of the film Tropic Thunder because of its excessive use of the term "retard," and they're calling for a national boycott of the movie. I had kind of thought that was going to happen organically.

-- I think the thing that disturbs me most about the Joyce Brennan "I-Put-My-Face-On-Worldwide-TV-To-Clone-My-Dead-Dog-Booger-Even-Though-I'm-Wanted-In-
Britain-In-a-30-year-old-Kidnapping-And-Sex-Case-And-It-Turns-Out-I'm-Also-Wanted-
In-A-Recent-Tennessee-Burglary-To-Buy-A-Leg-For-A-Horse" McKinney case is that she named her dog Booger.

-- It always makes me feel old when Greg Maddux and Jamie Moyer pitch against each other, as they did Friday night in San Diego. Why? Because I was in high school when those two dinosaurs came up with the Cubs, as opposed to, say, grown adults who weren't even born yet.

-- People are dropping dead left and right lately. First it was Bernie Mac, who I commemorated by watching Bad Santa on Comedy Central this weekend, and then it was Issac Hayes, so now we will never again hear that classic song, "Simultaneous" (as in "simultaneous lovin' "). Unless someone shows me how to embed an MP3 file into my blog, of course.

-- Nancy Grace is the CNN version of Jerry Springer.

-- Confidential to Alfonso S. in Wrigleyville: I know it's scary when the fat man yells at you, but honestly, for $17 million a year you'd better leg out that double.

-- Finally, anyone who's for, against, or undecided on the environment in general and global warming in particular should read Joel Achenbach's piece in the Washington Post. No matter what you believe, you'll see in great detail exactly why you're wrong, wrong, wrong!