Must've Been Some Holes In Fox's Lineup

Fox has been plugging its new show Hole in the Wall quite a bit this week. Cleaning out my DVR the other night, I happened to catch the premiere episode.

Gotta tell ya, it really never did get more interesting -- or complex -- than the 3-second clips shown on commercials. Contestants either figure out how to contort themselves through Hello Kitty-ish shapes in a moving Styrofoam flank, or they get knocked into a pool of green liquid.

That’s mildly entertaining for longer than 3 seconds, but not much longer. If this show has any chance to squeeze through the unforgiving world of TV popularity, it’s got to figure out how to offer something else.

Instead, it went the opposite way and took itself way, way too seriously. The deep-voiced announcer -- perched “high above” the action, as if that angle offered any deep insights into the action or anyone cared -- speaks of the contest as if destiny itself is riding on it. Sideline interviews with the contestants are conducted after each round by some chick in a black dress. Come on, Fox, we know you love to sell sex, but can’t you just have the hard-bodied lifeguards do something silly every now and again?

I would watch if they picked a random contestant from the audience to play the game. Trust me, hilarity would ensue. In all likelihood, at some point so would serious injury and a massive lawsuit, so that’s probably not going to happen. Still, they could give us some type of human connection with a brief profile of the candidates that goes beyond three bullet points and a video clip of a dude flexing.

Failing that, even a computerized animation of the recommended way to beat some of the walls would add some depth to the show. As it stands, though, this Hole is pretty shallow.